This is the base version of the Factory. The R foregoes the forged wheels, Öhlins bouncy parts and carbon fibre trimmage. In place of the Swedish kit are Showa forks and a Sachs shock, plus a Sachs steering damper looking strangely reminiscent of the old '86 Gixer steam damper ...

Out go the forged wheels in favour of cheaper cast ally ones - bit of a shame as the forged kit is top notch for tyre changing, really easy to swap rubber on them. Sad to see these have to go on the cooking model.

I think we can live without the carbon fibre decoration, so no great loss there, although I like the Factory colour scheme and the R schemes are a rather plain and uninvolving black or white. The R is also missing the adjustable swingarm pivot and steering head, which at least will make breakfast runs a lot simpler.

The feel of it is very tactile, no rubber based insulation here - you feel every hump and bump on the road, and a biggish ant will make the front end jump. It may be possible to soften things up for B road use but my brief experiments with the useful ignition key / damping adjuster didn't produce any beneficial results. Very much a track based setup it seems; the front end does not feel completely planted and makes you a tadge cautious chucking it hard into badly maintained UK bends. The suspension may need a bit of revalving etc. to get the desired affect for B road scratching. Wonder if the Factory with all it's Öhlins kit is better?

But none of that matters really, 'cos this bike is all about its engine ...

The motor is addictive. It's very loud and very very growly, like an RC30 on acid based steroids. In town cars almost jump to one side when you blip the throttle, and queue jumping has never been so much fun. Dunno how Aprilia have got round Euro noise regulations. Very V-twin feel to the engine, nice grunty torque delivery with lots of shuddering V4 vibes. Wind the revs up and you get to explore the seatpad a lot more - this thing really shunts when you nail it.

Heat is a bit of an issue though ... that engine kicks out some serious therms. Get used to a very hot left leg on warm days. And the motor seems to spend a lot of time over 100 degrees when speed is limited to double figures - doesn't seem to affect performance though.

Gearbox is good, no false neutrals and it's even possible to find proper neutral most of the time, so that's a bonus for an Italian gearbox. There's a lot of shunting and driveline lash getting on and off the throttle at low speeds which accentuate the mechanical nature of this, er .. machine.

Not a lot in the toy department compared to the fully loaded Beemer, but the Aprilia does offer 3 ignition maps, changed by the starter motor button when the engine is running and in neutral. T, S and R are on offer: Track, quick but a bit snatchy at low revs, Sport, better a low revs with a noticeable bit of extra go arounk 7K, and Rain (I assume), which is a bit flat and best avoided. Unless it's snowing.

Mirrors are not a lot of good - the fairing is as narrow as the bike, and the stubby mirror arms do not get the glass bit out far enough into the wind to clear the rider's arms. So a nice opportunity to carefully inspect the flies on your leathers but not much chance of spotting any following plod or enjoying the discomfort of your floundering mates outpaced by your great skill without a lot of arm wriggling and head bobbing - not good when the next off camber bumpy left hander is approaching and there's a pothole on your line.

Comfort? Many may think this irrelevant for a sports bike, but living in the south of England means we have nowhere much to ride properly without being constantly photographed or chased by bored policepersons, so it is essential that any bike can get itself out to some decent Euro roads without causing too much distress to the pilote. The RSV4 is a smidgeon smaller than the competition and could be cramped, but it's not at all bad. Seat is roomy but a bit rock solid - shame as the RSV one is very comfy - but the riding position triangle is good, not too extreme and good for a day's riding.

'What about my girlfriend?' I hear you ask. Well, you must be the judge there, but if she really is that desperate then there is the potential of rudimentary accommodation on the R.

A tiny seat pad fits over the lumpy bumpy tail unit and passenger pegs give some notional support, but if she's much over Minogue stature things are gonna be tight. And if yours has got a big arse .. well, do the decent thing and spare a thought for following riders.

The pad does at least lock in place and can be switched for the racy hump as required, which better suits the short and narrow profile of the rear unit.

Perhaps the rear pad could form a suitable base for your US20 luggage bag to pack your smalls for those necessary Euro trips, as I can't see Renntec bringing out a rack for the RSV4!

But even that's going to be marginal, the seat pad is tiny. And there's bugger all available in the under-pad storage area. The little bit of space potential is full of electronic bits and pieces and does not leave a sliver for such essentials as puncture repair paraphernalia.

Even downgrading to a Nokia 6300 will not allow you to store your phone onboard, so a bumbag or slightly less gay waist pouchette will be necessary for your personal items. I guess Max doesn't need his mobile at Monza, but nonetheless provision for same really is essential on a road going bike. Dreams of old Blades and enormous boots ....

At the moment the R is available on the road for a smidge over £13,000. And it's actually available, whereas the demand for the Factory, coupled with the delay caused by the con-rod recalls and retro-fitting of new engines, has meant that the fancy version is harder to get. And you could put the saving towards some WP suspension if you find the stock stuff lacking. But might the Öhlins kit on the Factory prove more amenable to our rumpy bumpy roads?

The RSV4 in either guise looks a seriously tasty bit of stuff but it's not an ideal mount for longish trips, the unforgiving hardness of the ride quality sees to that. But in the right circumstances it will make an ordinary run out with the lads seem special, and not even the BMW S1000RR does that quite as well.

So if you fancy a V-twin but don't want to put up with the sports Ducati crouch or the KTM super vibes, and realise you can't make the Multistrada trailee thing into a proper bike, however hard you twiddle the 'sports' knob, then the RSV4 could be the answer. And you'll be the only knob on it!