To quote Mark Forsythe: 'About as cool as a Schuberth helmet'

Fancy looking like a policeman? Need to cover vast mileages in a single day, or travel for weeks on end around the globe? But you want to keep some decent handling and enjoy the bendy bits? Then this could be the bike for you ..

Despite its looks the K1300GT is not just a fat old tourer, although it is fat and it weighs rather a lot; nope, it has a massively grunty 1300cc 4 cylinder motor to give it the necessary go and decent selectable suspension to stop it wallowing around like a walrus when the roads get a bit nadgery.

Add to this the combined anti-lock brakes and traction control, plus the stabilising influence of all that weight, and this bike can be braked so deep into bends and gassed out so hard that a lightweight sportsbike will struggle to keep up at times.

The final part of the mix is the very quick and light steering, aided by the wide handlebars.

Despite it's ability to change direction so fast the steering doesn't waggle at all, even though no steering damper is fitted.

This is down to the funny front end, BMW's swinging arm style forks with the central shock which removes any dive under braking. Add in the powerful combined bakes, providing max retardation from both wheels, and the anti-lock gizmo, and you have Valentino powers of late braking without needing his skill.

The front does take some getting used to as the lack of dive when braking into a bend feels odd and does rob you of some feeling for what's going on, but follow a trusted rider on a sportsbike on a quick run and you soon realise the front grips amazingly well.

We tried our best to lose the BMW on some seriously twisty bumpy UK back roads and it was only on the most committed of bends that we could open any gap, and that was probably only because the 1300 was untested - as the ride wore on it just got quicker. Where the Blades and Gixers were bouncing around and scrabbling for grip exiting bends, the heavy old BMW relied on its grunt, weight and traction control to exit just as fast, if not a little faster at times. The only downside of the traction gubbins was the occasional loss of go as the back end struggled for grip on very bumpy sections.

The handling of the bike when really pushing it is due largely to the selectable suspension. The little switch on the left bar cycles between comfort, normal and sport settings, with the added selection of solo rider or avec passenger. On the softer settings the bike is comfy enough and fine for touring speeds but hopeless as soon as the pace quickens. But it's so easy to change that you can be ready for any situation at a moment's notice.

The switch beside the suspension adjuster is the control for the windscreen, allowing you to wind it up or down to suit the prevailing conditions. This is handy, as the screen is big enough to keep you dry when it rains, but allows you to get it out of the way in fine weather.

Other little luxuries include heated grips, a fully adjustable and heated seat, and even a heated passenger seat, with own control switch at the back. It's these little things ....

Oh yes, and cruise control!!? Well, why not.

Bit of a bonus in the switchgear department, BMW have now given in and fitted a Japanese style indicator switch.

Being a touring bike, and a BMW das boot, there is of course all the specialist luggage provision, with hard panniers and top box, perfect for a happy couple's weeks away touring distant lands in blissful harmony. And if that isn't enough to put you off then you're reading the wrong site.

Although the bliss may be compromised by the seat - it's bloody uncomfortable for serious touring. Riding 8 hours a day leaves you with a bit of a waddle, so some alternative posterior protection needed.

BMW K13000GT. Loads of weight, loads of wonga. Reckon on £13,000 plus with the goodies. They do a couple of variations, the 1300S which is the more sporty version, with an extra 15 bhp over the GT's 160 but keeps the adjustable suspension option. If you want to be weird you can also go for the 1300R, of streetfighter stylee.